Hello everyone and I hope this finds you all happy and well. Brace yourselves please because you will NOT believe what happened to me last night! My friend, who is passionate about cooking, invited me to her home for a light supper and we were chatting away when she casually announced she had been baking and had been experimenting with a new recipe which she was keen for me to try. She told me “It’s rather an unusual combination of ingredients but I know you’re adventurous enough to try it” – she then brought to the table this quite magnificent creation which looked absolutely delicious.
“It’s a peanut butter and semen loaf” she proudly declared. “What the actual f**k” was my first thought. My second, having already told her I was ravenous, was how do I get out of this without offending her.
“Wow”, I said “that certainly is adventurous”! My friend seemed completely unfazed by my hesitation saying “Go on, try it, I’m sure you’ll want more once you’ve tried it”.
“I’m not sure I can, it’s just so … unusual” I told her. By now even the thought was making me gag. I thought I’d stall for time so I asked her where she got the main ingredients from.
“Oh” she cheerfully replied “just from the village shop. You know, the one which old Mr Mills runs – he’s quite remarkable you know, 83 years old and still working”.
As she cut a very generous slice and placed it before me I heard myself blurting out “No, no, I’m sorry but I just can’t face it, it’s just too much”, I grabbed my bag and made a run for it. As I ran I heard her shout “Whatever is wrong with you – I know it’s rather unconventional but won’t you even try it”?
Driving home I was thinking whatever has this world come to. Unconventional? That’s an understatement if ever I heard one! A sad place indeed when a poor old man has to resort to this just to make ends meet. Oh, the indignity.
Arriving home I was so happy to see my dogs, Mrs Temple-Savage and Philip, and gave them an extra big fuss, thinking to myself well, whoever would have thought it – having always been considered the eccentric one in our friendship I’ve just been promoted to being the most ‘normal’ one, after all these years. Whatever was she thinking. And I certainly hope that particular recipe doesn’t get featured on The Great British Bake Off.
I made myself a soothing Peppermint Tea and then settled comfortably at my computer – heading straight to Facebook to distract myself from a most peculiar evening.
Aaaagh! The very first thing I see is my friend proudly displaying the very same creation she had tried to tempt me with, along with the caption …
My peanut butter and CINNAMON loaf.